We are bombarded with articles on bullying: from “How to spot a bully” to “How to treat a Bully”. The subject is age old and the bullying as damaging today as it was 10, 20, 30, 40 years ago. Many of us bear the scars of bullying in our homes, school and workplace. The power that bullying generates will always produces the next line of bullies. That is life…or is it?
What is a bully or more correctly, who is a bully? Is it the angry boy or girl at school that takes their powerlessness out on smaller, younger and more vulnerable kids? Is it the overly ambitious or desperate to please co-worker that puts you on the spot or in a bad light each and every time management is around? Is it the drunkard father that finds himself unable to cope, not only with life, but especially the daily responsibilities of raising a family, of being aware every day of his failings as the anchor, the protector and the provider for those that he is supposed to love and protect?
I’ll tell you what a bully really looks like. A bully is a father that molested his child in his care and shrugs it off. A bully is that same father that ignores his child because his wife had the guts to leave him and get away. A bully is that same father that breaks into his child’s house where she sits unprotected with a crying 8 year old, busy breastfeeding a 5 day old baby. A bully is that same father that serves an eviction notice on his child and her children because she dared expose him for the bully he is. A bully is that same father that sues her for sullying his good name because she grew tired of being bullied.
A bully is that same father that was given a second chance to be a father and who is busy creating a bully to get away from the bullying at home. A bully is that same father who bullies his grandchildren because he can.
This is a bully. No reason for being a bully, no sad childhood to fall back on and blame for being a bully. Just a mean man who was supposed to love and protect and decided bullying is much more fun. No rewiring to be done, no therapy needed, his choice, his way of life, he is the bully because that is his power.