…Waiting to exhale…

Waiting to exhale…

Filling the space between breaths…

Ever felt the walls closing in on you?  Overwhelmed, tired, used-up?  Yep, off course, you’re a women and it is tiring being super-woman all the time.  On top of that, at my age, 50+, no ways will I do justice to the super-woman suit!  Not even going there.

Where I can go, and keep my dignity, and super-woman’s legacy intact, is just down the road.  Jip, jip, get in your car, turn up the music, I personally immediately pick-up on Van Morrison’s Midnight Special….who would not with the words “Midnight Special…turn your light on me..”  I instantly feel in the light, sit up straighter, hum along and then, oh what the heck nobody judging…belt along!! Great fun.

Being a woman and mom and partner and all those other nice things that we are, first thing that pops into my head is “well this is all good and well, but what will I be doing driving around, parking at a great spot and just relaxing?”  How do I do that relax and let go thing?  I’ll be making lists of all the things that still needs to be done, wondering about the boys and are they getting along (all of the 30 minute or hour that I will be away). I could have washed those dishes sitting in the sink, maybe tidied up the kids room…oh the list goes on and on.

Nope, not going to sit and feel guilty….this is my breathing time…time to do something fun for me! Swing by the local shop, bought myself ‘n crochet needle (is that the correct term for the weird hook looking thingy?), some wool with pretty colours and convinced myself that at my young age of 52 I can teach myself to crochet.  Mind you, not just a long thin line, I’m going to be doing a flower.  I mean, I pride myself on my intelligence, I can knit, sew and write …. how difficult can it be.

Off I go, find a great spot near the beach, open my windows, inhale that salty, alive smell of ocean and beach…settle more comfortably in my seat and out comes the crochet tools.  Oh boy, oh boy…what fun!!! LOL  No difficulty getting started, just make a knot, stick in the hooked side, swing the wool around and pull through…easy, easy…easy.  Ok, how long do I do this and how do I turn around…remember I’m going to be doing a flower.  Ok, pull out all the stitches and start back at the knot again.  A bit of thinking, seeing pictures in my head, paging through my internal files…ok, try again.

Well, this carried on for a bit but the greatest part about this operation, besides the fact that I did eventually manufacture a flower of my own design, was that my shoulders relaxed, my breaths got deeper, the dishes flew out the window and all I had was this feeling of just being there and doing what I’m doing.   Exactly what I needed.

Well, the flower is a different story…I’ll have to patent the pattern I think and it sort of grew from a flower to a bush, a very bohemian looking bush.  Fortunately I’m not one for straight lines and perfection and the flower to me became the me that I am, the one that the light is shining on.

Go on ladies….make a break for it, try something ridiculously new and find your flower.  Don’t forget the music.

First try and first round of flower....

First try and first round of flower….

..bohemian flower after the exhale..

..bohemian flower after the exhale..

Found the boys exactly where I left them, still breathing, the dishes in the sink and boys room turned on its head.  Life is perfect and all survived my little adventure.  As for me, there is a brand new super-woman suit bursting under the clothes.

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